You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
