went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize