i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
