we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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