just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I skipped work to stalk him.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
