A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
