Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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