i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
