Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
