so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
