Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
