I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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