its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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