Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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