Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
