Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
