You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
