yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
