therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
