You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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