I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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