38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
