mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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