He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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