we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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