so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
