but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
