My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize