tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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