Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
