I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
