operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
