You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
