shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
