he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
