She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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