Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
