Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize