No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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