Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
