i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
