big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
