His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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