Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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