i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she woke up with a sticky ear
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
