I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
