i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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