He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
