Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
