that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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