Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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