i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
