Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
