it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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