We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize