its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
