She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
