Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
