Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
