God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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