She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
