Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
