I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
