it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
