I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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