Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
