i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
