playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
