Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
