That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
