not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
