i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
