I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
