Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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